fic: cultural exchange (sga, teyla/weir, nc17)

so, yes. i spent yesterday at work writing dirty, dirty sga fic.

title: Cultural Exchange
by: quasiradiant
fandom: sga
pairing: teyla/elizabeth
rating: nc-17
words: about 2000.

note: with immense amounts of help from thenewhope.



*

Elizabeth is drying her hair with a large, embarrassingly pink bath towel when the door chimes. She closes her eyes and steels herself, because if it's one more person with one more problem, it's entirely possible she's going to simply kill them with her bare hands.

Also, Rodney's taken to choosing moments just like these -- late at night, Elizabeth in her pajamas and no make-up and hair in unruly ringlets -- to have what he thinks of as great epiphanies that must absolutely be shared before morning briefing. And frankly, she's sick of them and how usually they are pretty brilliant, but certainly not so brilliant they can't wait 'til after sunrise.

She palms the door open and is halfway through, "Rodney I think it can wai--" when she actually looks up and realizes it's not Rodney at all. "Um," she says, "You're not Rodney."

The corridor is lit only dimly. There's a moment of silence, and then Teyla says, "No, that is true. But I did bring your mail."

"I, thank you?" Elizabeth says. Not that it's such a surprise for Teyla to show up at Elizabeth's quarters after hours, but with the Giant Bird Crisis still in full swing, Elizabeth hadn't expected Teyla to have a minute free. "How're the birds?"

"Remarkably large," Teyla says, wandering past Elizabeth and through the door. Elizabeth follows her and the doors slide shut. "And, thankfully, losing interest in Atlantis." The whole thing would be funny, Elizabeth thinks, if the damned birds weren't pecking watermelon-sized holes through Atlantis's upper windows and all of John's team hadn't had to spend the day chasing them off with Wraith stunners. "Though," Teyla says, "Dr. Brown is pleased at the amount of fertilizer they have produced for our gardens."

"Blessings out of bird shit," Elizabeth says, then laughs. "Never a boring day on Atlantis." Teyla's standing there in her sitting room holding a small cardboard box. She's obviously come directly from the avian action, and her hair is mussed and her flak vest is open and her holster is still strapped tight around her thigh and -- Elizabeth realizes she's staring.

Teyla's smiling indulgently when Elizabeth manages to look up. "Are you going to take this, or shall I open it?"

"You go ahead." Elizabeth leans her hip against the edge of the table as Teyla sets the box down. Teyla slides her vicious-looking knife from its sheath and uses it to slice open the packing tape, and while very effective, Elizabeth finds the overkill a little disturbing.

Teyla lifts the flaps of the box and moves aside the Styrofoam peanuts -- another very exciting invention the Earthlings have brought to the Pegasus Galaxy, Elizabeth thinks. Teyla's eyes widen a little, and Elizabeth tries not to smile but can't, so she just covers her mouth with her hand. Teyla lifts one of Elizabeth's two new acquisitions from the box and swallows hard enough for Elizabeth to hear.

"This," Teyla says, "is not what I was expecting." She's holding up a remarkably life-like black dildo, and she's blushing, and all of Elizabeth's embarrassment at having sex toys shipped across the universe pays off in a single moment.

"It's--"

"I believe its use is obvious," Teyla cuts her off. She sets the dildo on the table, and it's everything Elizabeth can do not to laugh. "This, however," Teyla says, forehead wrinkled, "is less clear to me." She lifts the contraption -- a mess of leather strips and metal clasps -- from the box.

"It's a harness," Elizabeth says very seriously.

Teyla's eyes flick back to the dildo. "For the--"

"That's right."

Teyla's eyes narrow the way they always do when she's trying to work out some difficult problem. "I am not sure I understand."

"I was thinking of a practical demonstration." Elizabeth watches Teyla closely, watches how the muscles in Teyla's jaw clench and how her fingers tighten on the harness straps. "If the giant birds haven't tired you out, that is."

You don't become the leader of an entire people by being someone who turns down a challenge. Teyla's eyebrows rise. "I am always willing to learn more your people's culture," she says, the hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth.

Elizabeth laughs, loud and full-throated. "I've always said this expedition should be about cultural exchange." She grabs the dildo from the table and reaches for the harness. Their fingers brush, and Elizabeth can hear Teyla's indrawn breath and suddenly all Elizabeth wants in the world is to be touching her.

"I'll be right back," Elizabeth says. She touches Teyla's face for just a second before ducking into the bathroom. Awkward harness adjustments, Elizabeth decides, won't do much for the please-God-don't-laugh-at-me atmosphere she'd like to maintain.

When she reemerges, this time without the hideous towel, Teyla's sitting on the edge of the bed untying the laces of one of her boots. She's shed her holster and her vest and the windbreaker and the shirt she had on underneath is eggshell white and sleeveless and impossibly soft-looking.

Teyla glances up, and then her mouth falls open. She sits up, boots forgotten. "Oh," she says, voice low, "I see."

Elizabeth feels self-conscious just standing there like this. She's wearing a white teeshirt -- one of the three non-red pieces of clothing she owns -- and no bra and she's naked from the waist down except for the silicone cock bobbling ridiculously at her crotch. It would be tremendously embarrassing except for the way Teyla's pupils have gone wide and how she seems to have forgotten how to breathe.

"So what do you think?" Elizabeth asks. She walks slowly across the room, hands clasped behind her back, and Teyla's doesn't once raise her eyes to look at Elizabeth's face.

"It is simpler than I had imagined," Teyla finally says. "And more... appealing." Her voice is dark and low, the kind of tone that makes Elizabeth's stomach clench tight in anticipation.

Teyla leans forward and Elizabeth just stands there, unsure of what to do. And then Teyla reaches out. The dildo looks very dark against the pale skin of her palm, and Elizabeth's legs nearly go out under her when Teyla wraps her hand around the cock and strokes it a few times, experimentally.

"Do you," Elizabeth manages through gritted teeth, "do you have anything like this among your people?" Way to go, Dr. Weir, she thinks to herself. When it doubt, talk anthropology.

Teyla smiles. "No. But I would like to think that in a galaxy without the Wraith, we would have had more time to develop such recreational equipment."

Elizabeth leans down and kisses her just because she's Teyla and because she says things like 'recreational equipment' and means strap-on dildos and because her mouth looks so inviting, and then Teyla's hands are in her hair, pulling her closer and it doesn't even matter that Elizabeth's so off-balance or that the dildo is probably poking Teyla in the stomach.

Elizabeth can hear more than see Teyla's hands at the fly of Teyla's pants. The military, in all their infinite wisdom, have made sure that their clothes are anything but easy to get off, and even as they kiss, Elizabeth can feel Teyla's frustration rising. She leans away and murmurs, "Lemme help you."

She drops to her knees, cock bobbing, and at eye-level the closure to Teyla's pants makes far more sense. Teyla lifts herself up a little bit, and Elizabeth pulls her pants and underwear down -- did the Athosians wear underwear before we came along? Elizabeth wonders, because she can't imagine Teyla wears the awful Air Force skivvies for comfort -- but can't get them past Teyla's still-laced boots. "Fuck it," she finally says, deciding to leave the pants exactly where they are, and then she kisses the inside of Teyla's long thigh and Teyla makes that noise that she always makes and Elizabeth realizes that the pants really, really don't matter.

Teyla's pussy is hot and wet and tastes exactly like it should, earthy and sweet. Elizabeth knows it well, by now, knows how Teyla likes her to draw the flat of her tongue lightly across Teyla's clit until Teyla's arching and whimpering and desperately needing something more.

It's a complicated maneuver, what with the pants still caught around her ankles. "Here," Elizabeth says, grabbing Teyla's ankles and lifting her legs. She ducks under the pants, and Teyla hooks her heels against Elizabeth's shoulders and it should really hurt except it means that Teyla can pull her in closer and closer and push her pussy up against Elizabeth's mouth and, okay, it hurts, but it's maybe the hottest thing that's ever happened in Elizabeth's life.

And then Teyla's pulling at Elizabeth's hair, and her voice is somewhere between and growl and a whimper when she says, "Elizabeth, I need you inside me. Please."

Okay, no, Elizabeth thinks, that's definitely the hottest thing that's ever happened. Ever.

She wiggles up a little between Teyla's legs until Teyla's heels are against her hips and Teyla's pants are stretched across Elizabeth's ass. Teyla nudges her forward as Teyla leans back against the bed, and Elizabeth plants a hand to either side of Teyla's ribcage.

"I'm gonna need a little help," Elizabeth whispers, and then Teyla's hand is between them and Elizabeth can't help but look as Teyla carefully maneuvers the head of the dildo. Elizabeth reaches down and wraps her hand around Teyla's, and together they guide it inside her.

And then they stop. Elizabeth watches Teyla's face. Teyla's eyes are screwed shut and her mouth is open and she's panting. She's leaning on one elbow and the muscles in her arm are defined and her skin is shining with sweat and Elizabeth whispers, "This was definitely worth the intergalactic shipping fees."

And then Teyla lifts her hips and presses against Elizabeth's ass with her boots and then they're fucking. This isn't the kind of thing Elizabeth's done, well, ever, and she'd expected it to be awkward, at best. But it's not, because Teyla's that good. It's just sliding and grinding and Teyla guiding her in the right rhythm. Teyla's hand is on her clit and her head is thrown back and she's biting her lower lip in concentration, and if Elizabeth was the kind of woman who could come just from looking, she would.

It's probably better that she isn't, she thinks, because it means she can concentrate on Teyla's body and the way she moves and she isn't distracted when Teyla starts whimpering the way she does before she comes and--

Oh.

Teyla's eyes open wide and she calls out, "Elizabeth!" and she pulls Elizabeth in as deep as she can go. She knocks Elizabeth completely off balance and Elizabeth sort of falls on top of her and she can feel Teyla's stomach muscles contracting and releasing underneath her.

And then Teyla smiles, that glowing, beatific smile that threatens to make Elizabeth fall entirely in love with her and she wants to hold her and touch her and do all those other ridiculously maudlin things that people like Elizabeth don't do.

Teyla releases the pressure on her back and Elizabeth realizes she has no idea how she's going to extricate herself from this position. After several long moments of something akin to panic, she decides to get out the same way she got in, pulling out of Teyla in a slow stroke and then falling back to her knees. Teyla lifts her legs and then Elizabeth's free, and Teyla's half-dressed and half-asleep.

Teyla looks up at her, gaze all wet and soft. Elizabeth asks, "Better than giant birds?"

Teyla grins. "Are you glad it was not Rodney at the door?"

Elizabeth laughs and Teyla laughs and it feels so good to be here with this woman in this place in this galaxy, laughing like disaster isn't always half a second away. Elizabeth kneels down again and starts unlacing Teyla's boots, and Teyla touches her hair. When Elizabeth finishes, Teyla finally kicks off her pants and sits up. Teyla says, "A very interesting device. We will have to find out what else it can do."

And then Teyla smiles and yes, Elizabeth thinks, there may be giant birds and terrifying life-sucking aliens but this, this is pretty damn good.

Elizabeth says, "We certainly will."